Being aware of our love language is crucial for the success of our relationships.
Since we all feel and express love differently it’s helpful to understand how those you care about communicate their love.
If you have never taken the 5 Love Language test created by Gary Chapman I would recommend that you do. The online test is free and very easy, you can take it online here. If you prefer to do it on paper, here is the PDF version of the test that you can print out and do by hand.
The test will determine the order of the 5 Love Languages and how they rank to you.
The 5 Languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Even if you are not currently in a romantic relationship, it’s important to know how you receive love. It will shine a light on what type of words or actions you need from others to feel loved.
By knowing your own love language you can effectively communicate to those closest to you what you need to feel loved.
Having different love languages in a relationship can be tricky, but it is very common. Let’s say one person has Words of Affirmation as their number one love language and their partners number one is Receiving Gifts. The partner whose love language is gifts will bring home flowers, show up with a coffee, give a drawing they made while thinking of their love; something tangible they’re giving as a token of love. They feel that they’re deepening their connection and showing how much they care by giving these gifts. Although their partner appreciates the gifts, they don’t resonate as deeply as they’re intended to. In reality all the other person truly wants is Words of Affirmation – to be told that they’re valued and loved. The gifts are nice gestures but they don’t make them feel secure in their relationship and it doesn’t fully satisfy their needs. In turn, the partner who is giving the gifts may feel hurt or confused when the other doesn’t get as excited about what they’ve given to them.
You can see where the miscommunication happens. Neither partner is doing anything wrong but it would save a lot of time and energy if we just knew how to love someone in the way that they could accurately feel it. And vice versa, we would be able to recognize the depth of the actions of others and that they aren’t just bringing us a coffee, they’re really saying how much they love us.
This does not only apply to romantic relationships. It’s important that your children, family and friends know your love language as well and that you know theirs. This way when we give OR receive love we’re able to understand the intentions as well as the needs of others. We will be able to love in a personalized way that will speak truest and will resonate fully.
I wanted to create a tarot spread that spoke to the love languages and helped you deepen your understanding of the way you receive love. Hopefully this will inspire you to not only find out your love language but to fully understand the role it plays in your life.
I hope you are able to start speaking the same language with those you care about!
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