As an extrovert I thrive off of spending time with other people.
I love small talk; chatting with strangers at the grocery store, discussing trivial topics with acquaintances, having coffee with coworkers. I know a lot of people feel uncomfortable when in the grips of small talk, but me? I enjoy it.
I’ve noticed that although I find small talk to be quite pleasant, it doesn’t fill me up. For me to feel satisfied and inspired, I need to have genuine conversations with people whom I feel a connection to.
The connection is not determined by the amount of time spent together or depth of personal information exchanged, but rather by energy. I can meet someone and instantly feel a deep connection to them. Often times I can’t even explain why I feel such a deep connection to ‘strangers’ (I use the term strangers loosely).
Not too long ago I met someone my friend is dating. We met casually in social situations a few times, engaged in some small talk and moved on with our lives. But after a few times of seeing each other there was a break in conversation. The two of us stared into each others eyes and he asked, “Where do I know you from?”
Up until that point I had been trying to figure out the exact same thing from the first moment I saw him. It wasn’t a dramatic occurrence but whenever he was around I couldn’t help but think that he reminded me of someone. I didn’t plan on saying anything because I figured it was just me but once he brought it up it ignited a curiosity deep within me. The feeling of familiarity crept in like an old friend.
We spent some time asking each other basic questions about where the other grew up, what sports the other played as a teen and some lighthearted questions about interests… but at the end of it, we still had no idea how we ‘knew’ each other.
But the thing is, I kind of do know why I feel such a connection to this person. It’s something greater than I can really put into words; it’s on a soul level.
I can look into their eyes and feel like I have known them for lifetimes, centuries, for an immeasurable amount of time – on a level that as a human living such a short life, I can’t really grasp… only barely.
Yes, I recognize it could be so simple as we both feel reminded of someone we currently know or have known in the past. The other persons mannerisms or looks could trigger a memory of someone we’ve met in passing, used to be close to, or know currently. Or hey, maybe we actually have met at some point and can’t consciously recall. It could be so simple. You remind me of someone I know or have seen (in this lifetime) and vice versa. There. Taken care of. Mystery solved.
But why doesn’t that feel like enough? Why does it feel like it goes deeper than that?
Frankly, I think it does. I think it goes much deeper.
Although in this post I’m referring to a recent experience I had with one person, that isn’t to say that this type of experience hasn’t happened to me a handful of times.
At this point I feel like I should clarify that I’ve had restaurant waiters and people in coffee shops asking, “Do I know you from somewhere?” and often times I look deep into their eyes furrowing my brows as closely as I can get them without them actually touching and I reply a very firm “Nope. Don’t think so.”
If this is the only type of experience you’ve had with a stranger recognizing you then you won’t understand what I’m actually referring to. Having someone recognize you and you not being able to reciprocate the feeling doesn’t feel like what I’m talking about here.
What I’m talking about is when both parties feel this sense of knowing one another. It almost feels boundless, like a dream. It happens when eye contact is made and at the very core of your being you’re thinking “oh, it’s you again!”
It’s like you’re in a room full of people and you have an inside joke with this stranger but you aren’t quite sure what the joke is or where you’ve heard it. Heck, maybe that joke isn’t even funny ha-ha but more comparable to one of those laughable cosmic coincidences. Like when you’re complaining of not having enough money, only to find a $20 bill in your pocket hours later. Or praying your exam is cancelled because you don’t feel prepared and finding out it’s been postponed because your professor overslept.
I know a lot of people would call this Soul Mate Recognition and that’s totally fine with me. That’s probably what I’m going to call this blog post to be completely honest. But I don’t really care what you want to call it because to me the label is meaningless.
The feeling of recognizing someone can be comforting but often times I find it puzzling. It almost doesn’t sit well with me because I’m such a curious person. I have a hard time having these experiences and simply forgetting about them. Feeling something so inexplicable is bound to cause a bit of an emotional stir.
These are the types of connections that fill me up. That allow me to leave the situation and ponder them for weeks, months, years. These are the types of experiences I welcome with open arms and that I hope will happen more.
Two souls that share a deep emotional connection,
an attraction so intense, hard to alter or break
The way we understand each other, our similar qualities,
wanting the same things
Two souls that perhaps were one, many, many years ago,
split to test the true connection
The connection that led us to each other,
with a sense of familiarity and warmth
Not a, “Nice to meet you.” but more of a,
“Where have you been? I’ve been waiting”